1950 CVTC 22 Homemaking (Photo credit: wistechcolleges)
Something I was told by an older woman when I was just started out has stuck with me ever since and it is the way that women often refer to their husband or partner ‘helping out’ with childcare, (as mentioned in this article) or housework. This woman said to me that by saying that you want your partner to ‘help’ you with something assumes that it is your job when in fact, it is a parents job to raise children, not just a mothers. Similarly, when you are asking your partner to ‘help you’ with the housework, it translates to him as it being ‘your job’ and he is just ‘helping you’ on this occasion. Given our propensity to speak like this, it is not surprising that women then take this underlying internal and external commentary into their workplaces.
I have heard many women ask a male colleague to “help with the minute taking in this meeting”, and then the same women wonder why they end up doing the minutes again and again. Its because the male thinks that he was ‘helping’ you do ‘your’ job! This is one of the internal barriers that many women put up for themselves and then their language just embeds the ‘external barrier’ even more.
Perhaps it stems from an underlying belief by women ( I would say through socialisation) that it is their job to do the housework, the bulk of the childcare and the support work at the office. Whatever the cause, this is one barrier that we can all break ourselves by changing our language and how we feel about it.
See this article I have referred to by Natalie Bickford
Date: 18 Feb 2013 http://www.workingmums.co.uk/working-mums-magazine/top-story/6694273/diverse-thinking.thtml?goback=.gde_687467_member_215105269
Today I received the usual WordPress update into my email in box and I must say I look forward to receiving these because they always contain some great handy hints that I can use on my blogs. So this one was no different, except in the language that it uses. See if you can pick up the difference.
For all of you stats junkies — you know who you are! — we’ve added some holiday cheer to your WordPress.com Stats Page. In addition to the number of views your site receives, you can now keep tabs on how many unique visitors come to your site, all on a single, easy-to-read chart.
A visitor is a unique user or browser/device that views one or more posts or pages on your site. When your friend checks out your site from her laptop and then again from her phone, that’s two visits. If she clicks on four different posts, that’s four views.
read the rest of the article here
From Jody, via Changing Women on LinkedIn
Let’s change “stay at home mom” to “stay at home parent“. I am a mom and the working parent in my household. This makes the title applicable to dads as well as moms and helps us change the attitude that if one parent stays home with the kids it doesn’t automatically mean its the mom.
Good idea Jody, “Stay at home PARENTS – I will add this to the list! You are so right. The current term discriminates against men who choose to stay at home and will help to change attitudes. Interestingly, I am in correspondence with a men’s group in India who are trying to ‘change women’ by getting them to accept that men can do traditional female roles! We take this for granted in the western world, but fathers and husbands in India are having a tough time convincing women to share the traditional feminized roles of carer, primary parent and stay at home manager. They argue (and rightly so I think) that women need to accept that men can do these roles as well as women and this action will help the fight for the equality of women because men will start to accept their own ability and responsibility. They currently feel hindered by the enormous cultural pressure and history of women as carers, supporters and primary parents and feel that men that choose to express themselves in using the stereotypical (soft) ‘female attributes’ are being discriminated against by feminists. It’s an interesting discussion and I am currently encouraging them to join our Changing Women.org site so we can start to discuss each issue one at a time. It is vitally important, I think for those of us who have a voice to help those who want a voice to be heard.