Tag Archives: women

Be vigilant – equality and your rights can slip away

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Be vigilent

Be vigilent

Remain vigilant and never assume human rights are protected forever! This is such an important message and it applies everywhere not just Muslim countries. We don’t need to look to far to see that many policies even in the western world are trying to wind back equality for women. Recently the new Pope was reported as saying men are the leaders of the church and a women’s role is as the ‘supporter’. Many US states are trying to repeal domestic violence laws and putting in place policies that take away a women’s right to choose (contraception and abortion), or are putting in place policies that make it difficult for women to access affordable contraceptives.

In Australia we still have some draconian ideas about child care and equality with some policies and taxes making it harder for women to easily return to work because they are penalized by the tax system as the ‘second’ income earner.  Meaning that for many it is hardly worth going back to work.  Many older woman like me have been trying to raise this issue for sometime, but the problem is that so many younger women think they already have equality.  But take note of this photograph, if it does not scare you, then it should.

You know it never ceases to amaze me how often I am called a ‘feminist’ when I talk about human rights and gender equality

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English: The Austrian feminist Marie Lang, 185...

English: The Austrian feminist Marie Lang, 1858-1934 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You know it never ceases to amaze me who often I am called a ‘feminist’ when I talk about human rights and gender equality.  I find it particularly interesting that most often it is young women (35 and under) who say things like, “oh you must be a feminist” when talking to me about equality and women’s issues.  Basically they say the word like I am from a different planet, or some different species of animal not yet fully researched, but feared and despised none the less.  I usually hear this statement when I get into a conversation with someone and I might ask these women if they think they are equal in our society.  Or I might ask them why they have just said what they did and then give them some examples of inequalities to expand the context of what they have just said, like “I am waiting for my boyfriend to ask me to marry them”  To which I might ask, why don’t you just ask him to marry you?  To which they are often shocked as often times I don’t think they have even thought about the alternative so fixed into the traditional roles expected of them that they don’t see any issue with what they have said.  Sure its fine to wait to be asked if you know you are traditional and that is your choice, but very often after a discussion, the person will tell me that they have actually never even thought about what they say and believe and why they do.  Conversely, I get two different responses from men when I question their behaviour or views, or I simply talk about current human rights issues like violence against women.  The first, and I would say the one that is gaining ground is where the man wants to know more about inequalities and inequities because they know that these inequalities also affect them.  Second, and I am well used to this one by now, is hostile where the man might (try to) speak over the top of me and try to belittle me in front of other men.  Only the other day I was de-friended by a long term acquaintance when I questioned a post on his Facebook page that had an image that said something like “punch a bitch a day”.  He thought it funny, I thought it completely inappropriate and promoting violence against women.  However he accused me of being a man hater, of not seeing the funny side, of being ‘juvenile, sexist and racist’.  That last one is a little funny, but apparently in the US the saying “punch a bitch a day” is acceptable if you are a person of colour, which this person is not, but he didn’t think of that I guess.  Having questioned his values and calling him on the post, he then proceeded to accuse me of being a FEMINIST, like it was the worst word he could call me.  He then told me that it was no wonder I was no longer married, and when I said that was a low blow considering he knew my situation, he said “it wasn’t personal”.  Charming!  Whilst I was working in Thailand  (2003), this same man said to me that he didn’t know why men bothered to rape women in the US when they could just come to Thailand and buy one for sex when they liked.  Hmm, and I thought he had changed since, but then old habits….

I actually don’t think of myself as a feminist, merely someone who believes in equality and I wonder why being a feminist is so terrible?  Has the population been brainwashed into believing that the old 60′s bra burning stereotype of feminists is still current?  Feminism has evolved a couple of times since then, but we rarely hear about the new forms and instead continue to focus on the hot buttons of pro-choice and militancy, instead of understanding that we have moved on from and new ideologies like the Pussy Riots and Slut Marches exist.

“In my own view, Feminism is organic rather than something that needs to be defined or performed in a certain way.  Prior to my study of Sociology, I would not have recognised a feminist, and certainly did not realise that there were many different types of feminisms.  Many younger women do not class themselves as, or even identify with being a feminist.  Instead, historical female behavioural models are collected, compared and consolidated, recycled depending on which role the actor chooses to play.  These models come in different forms such as the ‘post feminist’, the post feminist lesbian, the black feminist, the old feminist or the young feminist.  There are established models for each different type of category, easily recognised by other feminists and the wider community.” (Moore 2012)

There are also different waves of feminism, like the early suffragette who wanted the vote for women, known as 1st wave feminism – 1960-1920.  One of the most wide ranging political campaigns in history,  the suffragette battled for access to the vote for women and chastity for men.  The chastity for men was an issue because there was very little access to birth control and it was acceptable for men to frequent prostitutes or have mistresses which spread the disease to their wives, and yes before you say ooooohhhhheeee, some women did have extramarital sex as well they had few rights.  The point is that women didn’t have the vote, couldn’t own property and could be chucked out and divorced by their husband just like that if they were found to be adulteress.  In short there was a double standard.  As well as the inability for women to control pregnancy, venereal disease was rife and women wanted to curb the practice of sex outside marriage.

The bra burning feminists, known as 2nd Wave Feminism of the 1960′s were primarily concerned with sexism and highlighted an awareness of systemic discrimination against women.  This period is now recognised as being ‘Eurocentric’ (focusing on white women) and is also sometimes called Captial F feminsism because it viewed all women as sisters simply because they were women.  This wave took on patriarchy and fought for a women’s right to choose  and so we continue to hear the pro-choice argument being synonymous with pro abortion, but this is only one aspect of this movement.  The right to choose was about a women’s right to choose what happens to her body, including the right to contraception and abortion.  Unfortunately the wider issues sometimes get lost on pro lifers who like to focus on the abortion and pro-choice aspect as it helps to further their cause and demonise women, mostly mothers.

3rd wave feminism recognises differences in women’s environments, cultures, political and choices so it can be discussed in a broader context and instead becomes known as ‘feminisms’.  3rd wave feminists believe that feminism is outdated and is now ‘being lived rather than theorised’.  Hence many women under 35 think that there is no need for feminsim at all because they are already equal.  However there are many who know that there are still significant issues and in current times we have seen the rise of raunch culture and girl power in the form of Pussy Riots, Slut Marches and other grass-roots organisations that aim to ‘reclaim’ a women’s sexuality.  Feminism is still evolving and will continue to evolve as more issues come to light to be addressed, like the current issue of ‘rape culture’.

So I don’t mind being called a feminist, I just find it funny that people need to ask me if I am one.

REFERENCES

MOORE, Susanne (2012), “Feminism, Difference and Identity”, form Macquarie University SGY220 Assignment 3, White paper

Enough Already – http://onebillionrising.org/blog/entry/enough-already

Griffith University. (2011/12). Defining Women: Social Institutions and cultural diversity. Study Guide , 1-101.

 

International Women’s Day

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Vicky's Work Area 2006

Vicky’s Work Area 2006 (Photo credit: Vicky TGAW)

 

Lets be clear on International Women’s Day. Flexibility is not gender diversity, nor is it equality. Nursing rooms, flexible hours and acknowledging the needs of returning mothers is also not equality, it is merely a fact of life. Gender diversity means that women have the same opportunities and choices as men do, and men can have the freedom to choose roles that we have traditionally attributed to women

 

Are you creating an ‘internal barrier’ to help those ‘external barriers’ to workplace success?

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1950 CVTC 22 Homemaking

1950 CVTC 22 Homemaking (Photo credit: wistechcolleges)

Something I was told by an older woman when I was just started out has stuck with me ever since and it is the way that women often refer to their husband or partner ‘helping out’ with childcare, (as mentioned in this article) or housework. This woman said to me that by saying that you want your partner to ‘help’ you with something assumes that it is your job when in fact, it is a parents job to raise children, not just a mothers. Similarly, when you are asking your partner to ‘help you’ with the housework, it translates to him as it being ‘your job’ and he is just ‘helping you’ on this occasion. Given our propensity to speak like this, it is not surprising that women then take this underlying internal and external commentary into their workplaces.

I have heard many women ask a male colleague to “help with the minute taking in this meeting”, and then the same women wonder why they end up doing the minutes again and again. Its because the male thinks that he was ‘helping’ you do ‘your’ job! This is one of the internal barriers that many women put up for themselves and then their language just embeds the ‘external barrier’ even more.

Perhaps it stems from an underlying belief by women ( I would say through socialisation) that it is their job to do the housework, the bulk of the childcare and the support work at the office. Whatever the cause, this is one barrier that we can all break ourselves by changing our language and how we feel about it.

See this article I have referred to by Natalie Bickford

Diverse thinking

Date: 18 Feb 2013 http://www.workingmums.co.uk/working-mums-magazine/top-story/6694273/diverse-thinking.thtml?goback=.gde_687467_member_215105269

Oz working women say male-dominated referral networks ‘biggest barrier to their success’

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From the Siasat Daily Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Sydney, December 19:

Almost two-thirds of Australian working women said that they are not considered for executive roles because their male bosses only refer their mates.

A new survey from Executive Women Australia (EWA) found 60 percent of women think that male-dominated referral networks are one of the biggest barriers to their success.

EWA director Tara Cheesman said executive positions became vacant every three years on average, and bosses tended to look internally to fill roles, news.com.au reports.

“Usually because of the fact the other people in the [executive] roles are men, they are referring men,” she said.

According to the report, Cheesman said men who had male friends working in the same field often structured their relationship around helping each other with their careers.

“When the boss comes and says ”Do you know somebody great for this job?” they think ”If I can do this job, he can do it. If I get along with this person, he will fit in at work too,”” she said.

And while men don”t deliberately sideline women, Cheesman said it was an outcome of the perpetuating “boys’ club”.

“A lot of men don”t see themselves as the person who”s going to help their female friends in their career,” she said.

The survey of 500 EWA members found women think the second and third biggest barriers to executive positions are that men are better self-promoters than women.

According to the report, the survey found that business women think the most effective way to increase the number of females executives in the workforce is to give more flexibility to executive managers.

Women also think more networking would help, with 50 percent saying managers should network with executive women so they are considered in the referral process, the report said.

According to figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, just 3.5 percent of ASX 200 companies have a female CEO, and only 12.3 percent of corporate board directors are women, it added. (ANI)”

See the original article here

 

Is wearing flat shoes the new bra burning of feminism?

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Recently I was sitting in a train carriage on the way into the city for a meeting and 12 out of 20 women were wearing flat soled shoes!

I thought that maybe this was just a coincidence or maybe they were on their way to work and would change into their heels when they got to work. So I decided to sit in the foyer of a large corporation at morning tea time (about 10am) to see if the trend continued. To my surprise, almost 2 out of every 3 women that walked past me had flat shoes on and it didn’t matter if they were in a suit, or casually dressed. I was not counting sandals or thongs in my mini survey, just closed in shoes. About time I thought, some sense is prevailing and then I thought “maybe this is a reaction to patriarchy just like the bra burning of the sixties”. What do you think? And for a laugh, I have attached a link to one of my recent post’s,  “Have you seen yourself in those Heels?”

 

More fantastic Changing Women enjoying the beach

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Here are some magnificent women, with real bodies enjoying the sunshine recently at some sea baths in Sydney, October 2012.  Every single body is different, each so beautiful, each with its own tale to tell, each just the outward expression of that person’s inner beauty.  Reject the perfect image constantly promoted in the media, embrace life’s journey and the changes that it brings to your beautiful body.

Embrace your shape, your inner strength and beauty!

Men’s Rights does not mean Anti- Feminist

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Domestic Violence

I have been having conversations with a Facebook ‘Friend’ for a couple of weeks and he seems to feel that Feminism and women’s rights have disadvantaged men.  He and some men’s groups are calling for Men’s Rights as they feel that feminism has degraded their own rights, particularly around the issue of parental access to children.

The photo, was re posted by my ‘friend’ after being posted to the Against Feminism Facebook page. Interesting reading the About Page on that site.  I thought I would post the first part of the discussion here at Changing Women to get comments from others.

[name removed for privacy]

Aug 5, 2012, The rules of domestic violence that are in the law are made by women’s activist, call them feminist, whatever, you should just type “men’s rights” in Google, then you would know about this issue, at least from a legal perspective, laws made by women’s activists, Yes, feminists themselves do not persuade physical violence against men by women as a primary propaganda (and yes, killing children as an option that feminism suggests as a reproductive right is to be acknowledged as well, for feminism that proclaims itself as non violent), but laws are made against men in such situations, and these laws are made and created by feminists, you are speaking of the good feminism, and bad feminism needs to be acknowledge by society, and yes , it is gradually being understood by people, the percentage of gender based violence against women is greater but is not an justification to make laws biased against men, there was a single woman graduate in India which became the role models for billions of women to be educated, there was a single woman pilot on the world to be the cause for us to encourage women to be pilots, there are just a few women in corporate broads today, but just these few women are enough for the world to motivate billions of women to join the corporate leadership, we there are a few women in company’s managers, but we try to address their issues for promoting women in companies, few women become as cause for concern, similarly violence by women on a few men is not a justification that men’s issue should not be addressed, as I said before men’s rights activist are not against feminism that seeks justice for women, but the same feminist does address women and men in different light, if a women is are condemned and not allowed by the society for doing some thing men does, feminism and their followers say she is denied her rights, but if men are condemned and not allowed by the society for doing some thing women does, feminist and their followers say men are escapist. See, we need to acknowledge these realities men face from feminism apart from the common society, denying these legal and social realities of men inflicted by feminism and society is same as denying that women are raped, face gender discrimination, etc., in fact, men’s rights activists are more balanced in this way – men’s rights activists do blame certain kinds of feminism, but unlike feminism that does not acknowledges men’s rights, men’s rights activists acknowledge women’s rights.”

MY COMMENTS
Feminism does not support violence against women, it does not lie – the percentage of violence against women is far greater than violence against men. That being said, feminists do not support domestic violence against meneither. It is not feminist teaching to bash men. You may be surprised to know that there is domestic violence in same sex male relationships as well – this has nothing to do with feminism.  Surely, you and this organisation do not support the raping, terrorism and killing of women that is all too common in many countries? Feminism exists to bring awareness and to promote equality between the sexes. It has also changed over time. It is not feminism that did this to the man in the photo, it is a violent person.

This is a big subject [NAME REMOVED]. What are the rules of domestic violence that are made by women’s activist? I don’t need to type ‘mens rights‘ into Google to know that men have been in power for centuries and have created most of (if not all)

law. Can you give me examples? Don’t you know the figures for violence against women? Domestic violence is very serious – it is not just the physical violence but also the disempowerment of many women with children who have no job, no money and no place to go. These women live in violent homes with their husbands and partners and the violence can continue over decades. For some women (in Australia) they have to escape their husbands in order to protect themselves and their children, sadly many still die at the hands of their husband after they have left. Domestic violence laws were set up to protect these people (and if it happens to a man – then it protects him as well), from harm and enables them to have a life that is safe. This is a very complex subject and not one that you can easily dismiss as the percentage and outcome of domestic violence against women and men is very different. Perhaps you can do a Google search on the statistics, the recovery times and the ongoing damage that domestic violence has caused to so many women. Lets not forget that men are still stronger than most women and at a minimum can physically restrain them – women can’t do that to most men.
In terms of abortion – feminism does not advocate abortion, but it does work for women to have the ability to decide how their bodies will be treated (self determination) and to make decisions that effect their own bodies. In the past, women have not had that choice and you only need to look as close as China, where the Government – not feminists are forcing parents to have abortions against their will.  Other countries force circumcision, and the list goes on. Women only ask to have equal choice, not to limit the choices of men.

If you have a problem with the legal system, then you need to address the legal system. Many laws HAVE been changed to try and balance the rights of women to the rights of men – which our legal systems are founded on. Wouldn’t you fight if

you were denied the basic rights to education, to not be killed for refusing marriage, the have the ability to leave the house and to choose your own pathway in life? Of course our laws needed to be changed as they did not provide for equality. In Australia, women had limited ability to vote in 1894, so who made the laws before that? It wasn’t women.
Can you give me an example of BAD Feminism? Is this where women disagree with men?
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR COMMENTS ON THIS….

RESOURCES – Minervas Women Changing the World

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Minervas Women Changing the World

“OUR VISION
We envision a world in which women help reestablish the skewed balance, by fully integrating yin and yang.

A world ruled by love, compassion, peace and joy. A world, in which men and women collaborate, share, respect and recognize their human oneness with nature. 
 MISSION
 Our mission is to empower women

so that the feminine perspective
can be put into actions
to build a
better world.”

http://www.minervas.org/

 

He is a bit feminine because he wears a scarf and is an actor.

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Beckham sure looks good in one!

In the car of the weekend with my 14-year-old daughter and a couple of her friends, when one of them commented about a male friend that they all have in common.  She was heard to say of the boy, “he is a bit feminine”.  When I asked her what this meant she said that he wore scarfs and was an actor.  Interesting I thought, seems we are still teaching our young girls to look for the ‘jocks’ and value the stereotypical ‘mans man’ attributes instead of the very attributes that we expect to see in a female‘s and would most likely form the basis of a relationship based on equality, trust and care.

For this boy, showing attributes like care, consideration, showing feeling and being sensible enough to wear a scarf in the cold pale into the background for many girls who would rather be with a boy that demonstrates attributes like arrogance, disdain and disrespect.   What seems to still be the most attractive for girls looking for a boyfriend is his status or his standing among his peers.  Add to these attributes a reluctance to show feelings and an inability to communicate effectively and you have the makings of an unbalanced relationship.

The feeling nurturing attributes that are so important in female’s, often seem undervalued in a male’s.  Why is this still the case in 2012?  It’s not like caring is only possible if you are female, many men care deeply even if they don’t always show it.  We so often see fantastic examples of men who are incredible communicators, Bill Clinton springs to mind and there are others who capture the very essence of the mood, who communicate feeling, value and comfort so easily, so why are these attributes still undervalued in our young men?

There has been an argument that women naturally seek out the strongest most dominant mate to father the healthiest of children but I dispute this theory.  Girls are constantly exposed to this message but having a caring mate would surely be the preference for most women.  I am sure that the ability for parents to raise self-confident and self-sustaining caring children into adulthood requires more than the most dominant genes.  How much easier would it be to have a partner who had some of those ‘female’ attributes’ of compassion, empathy and unconditional love.

We continue to pit girl against girl in the search for the best male partner, and over time women have developed some competitive behaviors that are so destructive.

Enough is enough!

Teach your boys to be strong independent men, confident enough to be themselves, to express themselves fully using all the male and female attributes available to them.  Teach your girls the same thing and lets stop girls and women fighting amongst ourselves!

Many of the most loved, sexy and popular  men are actors, and some would be sensible enough to wear scarfs and as adult women we appreciate the sensitive side to them.  The most popular movies for women often show a strong, yet sensitive male, one who is able to communicate and care so why do we still have our young girls scoffing at the notion?